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E55
02-07-2000, 09:47 PM
St Peter says: "We've observed you son, and you've been good enough but I must give you a short oral exam to enter."

Gump said: "OK"

St Peter said: "There's three questions. First, how many days of the week start with T?"

Gump quickly said: "Two".

St Peter says: "OK, name 'em"

Gump says: "Today & Tomorrow"

St Peter says: "Not exactly right, but not exactly wrong either." Then says "We'll let that pass and go to the Second one. How many seconds in a year?"

Gump studied a while as though calculating and said: "Twelve"

St Peter says to himself: "This joker has blown it now. Then asks "How did you arrive at that figure?"

Gump says: "January second, February second, March second, April second, etc....."

St Peter interrupts saying: "OK! OK! Not what I was looking for but not exactly wrong either. Get this third one right and I'll pass you." - "Jesus and/or God have been called by other names, give me one of them."

Gump studied, squirmed, squinted at St Peter and said: "Andy"

St Peter said: "Son you've just done it now, I can't let that one pass, but just tell me how in the tarnation did you come up with "Andy?"

Gump looked him square in the eye and said: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His Own."

St Peter says: "Enter"


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